Happy Valentine’s week!
- So why do fiction not prepare us for the love that happens after “happily ever after“? I think because there is an implicit assumption that the phrase connotes routine and therefore a contented state of being? But damn, marriage is hard work. No easier than romance. We become our worst selves with those that we are closest to. We become whiny, grumpy, bad-tempered, childish and selfish. We may say too little words of encouragement, so that’s what not being said obstructs like a heavy rock, tripping us up. Or we may say too much, that the words stay in our hearts weighing us down.
- I think the balance lies in 聽, or listening. I saw a picture explaining the component parts of the word (聽) in my mediation workshop.
- There is the “耳” which involves bending our ears to the speaker.
- “王” where true listening involves treating the other person as royalty. We honor the person when we listen.
- There is the “eyes” to maintain eye contact, so that we aren’t distracted.
- “一” signifies undivided attention and focus.
- “心”, where listening with the heart is as important as listening with your ears.